i jhust puked up my retainher.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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