I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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