I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
