Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
