ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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