Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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