The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Sext me about skeletons
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
