5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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