talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
My pussy is not your playground.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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