honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
