I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
