They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
