he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
