How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize