i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
