I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
