Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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