he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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