I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
