Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
