Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
