hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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