Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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