The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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