someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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