Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
