Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
