how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
