Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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