Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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