Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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