You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
