Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
