just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize