Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
she told me i tasted like america
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
