Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
