well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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