It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
MIDGETS
????
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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