butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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