who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
