New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
