Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize