He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
