I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
