Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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