summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
