True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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