She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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