similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
