Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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