I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
