blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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