omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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