Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
