Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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