Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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