eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
