if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
