Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
